Steam Powered Giraffe - Musical Pantomime Troupe

Pseudo History | Webcomic | P.A. Walter's Blog

Once called the 8th 1/2 Wonder of the World, Colonel Walter's Steam Powered Robots are a technological marvel that has astounded the world for generations! Created in 1896 by Colonel P. A. Walter I, these robots still run off their original steam powered engines and artificial intelligence. But you'll find no generic boilers or clockwork brains in these robots! How their steam-driven power supplies and antique Cylindrical Canister Pin AI functions is a secret that Colonel Walter I took to the grave. None of his admirers, sons, grandsons, or other relatives could ever completely crack the mechanics, and those who have tried ultimately met disastrous outcomes. Today the robots are all refurbished with better plating, rubber buffers, and hydraulic tubing. New parts have replaced any old ones that have worn and torn over the centuries, but the robots all retain their original chassis, and are vintage relics of unmatched engineering. The least upgraded robot is model 2.5 v.14067.98, aka "Rabbit." Rabbit was the first of the robots to be powered on in 1896. He still uses an unmodified casing, and much of the Victorian gear-driven systems he was originally built with. The facial facades on his head are indeed antiques, carefully polished and up kept by the Walter family. The Jon received a recent upgrade in 1992 for marketing purposes, where engineers discovered his workings were of a more whimsical nature than the other three robots. Though left scratching their heads, they were able to substitute water with a crystal soft drink. To this day since, the Jon will not accept any additional fuels save for crystal soda. The Spine was the highlight of the 1956 World's Fair in New Pennsyltucky, having been remodeled into a sleek, contemporary build. It is the Spine's electrode infused spinal column that is of importance though. It allows for human-like flexibility and extraordinary balanced bipedal strength. The titanium spine has lasted through centuries of wear and tear, even after hours and hours of weekly performances. Upgrade went through many changes over the years, but in 1996 she had her last upgrade. Her artificial intelligence had always been incompatible with any other software, and the 1996 wipe and rebooting of her systems proved fruitless as the stubborn AI now refuses any upgrades past 1996. Part of the reason the robots have not received many chassis or system overhauls over the years is a lack of funding. The amount of money that goes into the up keep the robots alone is a fortune! The fact that these miracle machines are still running to this day is a testament to their brilliant conception. Hopefully they will be running for years to come and will be enjoyed by many more generations... (wink wink nudge nudge) TIMELINE
1896 -	At age 32, Colonel Peter A. Walter I finishes his four artificially intelligent automatons in his mansion at San Diego, California. There are reports of giant copper African elephants attacking Dandy Candy's rock candy mines in Africa. The CEO of Dandy Candy implores Walter to combat the metal menace. Walter begins construction on another invention, a giant steam powered giraffe war machine.
1897 -	Three months later, construction of the steam powered giraffe finishes. Walter and his robots travel to Africa and search for the copper elephants. A three day weekend war takes place with Walter's four automatons battling an army of mechanical elephants using the steam powered giraffe. The elephants are stopped. Thadeus Becile, long-time engineering rival of Colonel Walter, is found to be behind the attacks. His copper elephants are merely human-driven vehicles powered by the African rock candy. After the war, Colonel Walter explored entertainment as a means of putting his metal people to use, and began modifying them to play instruments and sing. Walter's illegitimate twin sons are born. Peter A. Walter II & Peter A. Walter III. The mother is Iris Tonia, one of his maids. He marries her.
1915 - 1916 -	The First World's Fair: Panama-California Exposition in Balboa Park, San Diego. The remodeled robots perform for hundreds and hundreds of visitors to the beautiful park.
1917 -	The US declares war on Germany. Walter's four automatons are enlisted for search and rescue operations, saving dozens of men at a time on battlefields tainted with mustard gas. For his heroism on the battlefield, a young Peter A. Walter III (age 18) makes Colonel.
1923 -	Peter A. Walter II (age 26) marries Mary Mickleson, a farm girl from Virginia.
1924 -	P. A. Walter II (age 27) has a son. Mark Ray Walter.
1926 -	P. A. Walter II (age 29) has a daughter. Wanda Walter.
1933 -	Chicago Exposition World's Fair. The robots perform to thousands of fair goers.
1935 - 1936 -	California Pacific International Exposition in Balboa Park, San Diego. The robots once again perform in their home city of San Diego, California.
1937 -	Peter A. Walter II and his wife have a second son Peter A. Walter IV.
1941 -	America Enters World War II. The robots serve the United States Army, Air Force, and Navy, assisting various Allied troops on the front lines, in the air, and at sea. Reports suggest there were no casualties caused by the robots themselves. Although having been a part of a bombing raid, the robots, going against orders, detracted from the mission to save Allied troops instead. Upgrade serves as a medical nurse for the entire war.
1942 -	Colonel Peter A. Walter I dies asleep in his mansion at age 78.
1945 -	World War II ends. The robots return to San Diego, California.
1947 -	Mark Ray Walter (age 22) and his wife, Judith Walter have a child. Peter A. Walter V. Judith dies during childbirth. Wanda Walter (age 20) marries Professor Guy Hottie.
1950 -	Family rival to the Walters, Ignatius M. Becile and Doctor Norman Becile steal the original plans for Colonel Walter I's steam powered energy source. They attempt to recreate the un-re-creatable and construct their own. Colonel P. A. Walter III, P. A. Walter II, and Professor Guy Hottie break into the Becile laboratory to stop the device from being turned on and are caught in a massive explosion that tears through the space-time continuum. In addition to all nightmares becoming reality, P. A. Walter II and Professor Guy Hottie are vaporized in the blast. Colonel Walter III suffers a mild stroke, Professor Ignatius Becile's right arm is paralyzed, and Doctor Norman Becile is misshapen into a crippled, monstrous form. His brilliant mind suffers a great loss of its mental function.
1951 -	Mark Ray Walter (age 26) dies in a freak car accident. Peter A. Walter V moves into an orphanage.
1955 -	In financial difficulty, Colonel Peter A. Walter III makes a regretful financial deal with Ignatius Becile for funds. Peter A. Walter IV joins the United States Marine Corps.
1956 -	Plifterston, New Pennsyltucky World's Fair. Ignatius Becile is arrested for conspiring against Colonel P. A. Walter III. Norman Becile testified against him. Shortly after, Colonel Walter III dies of unknown medical complications at age 59. Peter Walter V, at age 9, inherits his uncle's legacy and the Walter mansion in San Diego. He moves into the large house with Wanda Hottie and Norman Becile, the then current caretakers.
1957 -	The US military commissions the four automatons for unknown purposes in Roswell, New Mexico.
1962 -	Pilot P. A. Walter IV (age 25) takes commander position on the NASA spacecraft Asteroid. He is launched into space and orbits the Earth four times before a devastating explosion of the Asteroid spacecraft kills Commander Walter. The incident was never fully explained.
1964 -	The robots appear on The Ed Sullivan Show. An English band opens for them.
1965 -	The robots once again serve in the United States military, this time in Vietnam. They are rendered inoperable in the midst of combat and their chassis go missing. Upgrade, now taking a peaceful stand to violence, joins the hippie movement.
1969 -	Upgrade, having been missing for four years, begins a short-lived solo career as a singer. Peter Walter V (age 22), finding her, returns Upgrade to San Diego.
1973 -	The US starts to withdraw from Vietnam. The Spine, the Jon, and Rabbit's battered chassis finally return to Peter Walter V (age 26).
1974 -	The robots, reunited and repaired, begin touring again. Interest in the robots dwindles in the US as TV becomes increasingly popular.
1986 -	Peter Walter V (age 39) marries Annie Burnette. Peter Walter VI is born.
1992 -	The Jon is remodeled to run off of clear Crystal Soda for a marketing campaign. It fails.
1997 -	The robots are marketed as a boy band. Upgrade wears facial hair. Popularity surges for two months, and then dies.
2008 -	The robots begin performing at Balboa Park again, as street entertainers. They are re-marketed under the name, “Steam Powered Giraffe", which coincides with the giant mechanical one they used in Africa all those years ago. The family trade continues today as Peter Walter VI (age 22) has taken over the family business. He resides in Walter Manor with his mother, Annie Walter (age 48), his father, Peter Walter V (age 62), Wanda Becile (age 83), Norman Becile (age 95), and of course the Steam Powered Robots (age 113).
2009 -	The robots release a brand new album under their new "Steam Powered Giraffe" name.
2010 -	The Spine, Rabbit, Upgrade, and The Jon celebrate their 114 birthday by putting on a 114th Anniversary Show.